modern culture since 1991

Wings Over Sealand

The anti-social gamer

Posted on June 17, 2013 by RevStu

Hey, videogame developers! Fuck the fucking fuck off with this fucking cuntery:


Thanks so much.

I wouldn't mind if things like this were based on Game Center, iOS's built-in social-gaming function suite. But invariably (as here) they're based around Facebook, and if I wanted to give you my fucking Facebook details so that you could "monetise" them I would. But I really, really, really don't, so when you demand them I enter the details of a fake one set up for that very purpose, which obviously therefore has no "friends".

(Hey again, videogame developers! If I wanted you poking your fucking noses anywhere around my Facebook account at all, in fact – never mind for forced-"social"-gaming crap like this – you'd be my fucking Facebook friend. But you're not, and you never will be unless I actually happen know you for real, so get to fuck with ANY sort of Facebook connectivity that's required for in-game rewards. I don't need any more fucking reasons to hate fucking Facebook.)

So when you pile this shit up so much that there's no way of progressing without whoring your game out to a whole bunch of other people like I was your fucking marketing department, you know what happens? It gets deleted, rather than played to the point where I might have paid you some money for some actual game stuff, rather than just to get around the fact that I like playing games BY MY FUCKING SELF.

(Because if I want to socialise, by and large I go out and do it with actual people, in person, rather than trying to persuade a load of adults to play a cartoon running game based on a fucking Disney movie.)

So now, although your game is actually a lot of fun, it's gone and I hope you die of being eaten alive by fucking pitbulls. If that's what you were aiming to achieve with your "social gaming" wheeze, well fucking done, you cockbiting fucking cuntbubbles.

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6 to “The anti-social gamer”

  1. thingy says:

    Completely agree 100% with the sentiment, minor detail though – it's not Disney :-)

  2. jpb says:

    Yeah, they (rightly) don't give a shit about you, Stuart, because you are a tiny part of their audience, the majority of whom will give their FB details freely (and that data and potential virality is way more valuable to them then your 69p or whatever). Your impotent rage is directed at them for making a totally logical business decision. Weird.

  3. Paul says:

    Personally, I don't see a problem with it.  It's just another way of doing things and one that can be devilishly effective (see Candy Crush Saga).


    Just to be clear, though, you are happy as an adult to play cartoon running games based on a Disney movie, but not to "persuade" other adults to do the same?  What about comparing high scores on games – can that only be done with people with whom you don't have a real life relationship?

  4. fukarequiredname says:

    i really dont give a shit if its facebook or what have you, its still fucked up that you are forced to make friends with people you dont know and propbably never will just for a game. i can play with others and not be their friend. as a matter of fact, they probably wont be my friend after they play with me anyways. and now with the new systems coming out and there is not only forced 'social' gaming but you 'must' use your real name and the cam and mic are left on…… seriously WTF. i would rather play Super Mario Bros. on the NES than get involved in this complete lack of respect for the consumer. i dont like being to what to do, especially with something ive paid for. fuck the mainstream conglomerates that think they can. i hope their childre die from catching a flesh eating desise.

  5. John says:

    Bizarre that people think pointing out 'it works' or 'it's a business decision' is in any way adding to the debate. Hey everyone, I've just decided that to boost my business I'm going to charge the poor more. And the fact that that's a business decision means I can ignore any complaints without addressing them, and any questions of morality no longer apply. Hoorah.

    I agree completely with the article's sentiment-any 'achievement' or progress skip based on this sort of twattery is to be ignored. Plus, of course, deleting the app that dares is a perfectly valid consumer response, and the more that do so, the less of this there'll be.

  6. Jamie says:

    I think bill hicks describes marketing people perfectly.

    Fb is evil.

    I agree with your assessment of such games. 

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